Applying Lessons from Exposure Therapy to Daily Life
Exposure therapy is often a primary treatment component when addressing anxiety. Whether an individual is coming to treatment for a specific fear, social stressor, OCD, or other type of anxiety presentation, exposure can be a critical aid in reducing distress. It can also significantly change our relationship with anxiety and the role it plays in our lives. In structured exposure therapy, an individual systematically comes into contact with anxiety-provoking situations in order to both reduce their fight/flight response and develop new awareness around anxiety and its triggers. Through this new learning, a different approach to anxiety can develop. We learn to recognize anxiety triggers; we learn to stay aware of our anxious mind’s desire to avoid, distract, and do anything possible to avoid feared objects and situations; and we acquire tools to help approach fear and fulfill goals that are meaningful, despite anxiety’s attempts to dissuade. For example, individuals often find that through exposure they can learn to approach challenging social situations, drive over bridges, travel on airplanes, and deal with distressing thoughts with more ease and security.
Learning constructive ways to approach fear and distress allows us to begin to take back the reins of our lives and make choices based on values rather than doubts and aversions. Individuals who seek out exposure treatment often find that they can apply this experience more broadly to other areas of their lives. Anxiety is present in both obvious and inconspicuous ways. It can alter or define small choices we make in relationships, professional situations — just about every aspect of life. By applying some key strategies from exposure therapy, we can improve our ability to make choices that are in line with what we want to foster and promote in our lives.
Mindful Awareness
Mindful awareness allows us to become more conscious of how anxious emotions influence our behavior. While it may be obvious when anxiety prevents us from giving a speech to a large group, it can be much more covert. It can influence the types of conversations we have with our partners, or subtly determine which professional interactions we undertake. Since our problematic choices are often driven by uncomfortable emotions, introducing emotional awareness as part of decision-making can be very helpful. Emotional awareness allows us to step back from our automatic patterns and name the feelings before choosing a response. Jon Kabat-Zinn defines mindfulness as “paying attention in a particular way; on purpose, in the present moment, and non judgmentally.” When we practice mindfulness, it becomes easier to ascertain when our actions are driven by anxious emotions and thoughts.
Labeling the Value-Based Decision
As I mentioned above, it is important to be able to recognize when you are making a decision from a place of anxiety. That identification becomes easier and more meaningful when you focus on making choices that are congruent with what you want in your life. We may have a clear idea in our minds of what is important to us; however, the flow of day-to-day life can lead us to make decisions that are not consistent with those values. There are a variety of exercises we can do to help clarify values. To get started, take some time to think through the different domains of your life. What is important to you? How do you want to interact with others? In what way do you want to express your beliefs? After clarifying your true motivations, work to identify the coordinating choices and actions. The more clarity we have around what choices will help promote what we want most for ourselves, the better we will be at keeping anxiety out of the driver’s seat and determining our path forward.
Using Structure and Support Systems
The direction and intensity of our motivation is always changing. There is a reason most of us set New Year’s resolutions only to see them go by the wayside by February. That is because it is quite hard to consistently make choices that are in line with our desires, and is especially true when we are confronted with our own anxiety. We naturally avoid things that make us anxious or stressed. After all, anxiety is quite useful at keeping us safe. But when anxiety is being triggered by situations that aren’t life-threatening, and perhaps not dangerous at all, it becomes an obstacle and interferes with living fully. That is why we need structure and support to guide us toward our values in the face of anxiety’s influence. Exposure treatment helps provide a framework for making healthy choices as individuals that will be fruitful well past the end of treatment. You can create structure and support in a variety of ways. The key is to be creative. Here are a few starting points to consider in helping you establish that structure:
● set clear goals
● make goals measurable
● track progress/outcomes
● use helpful technology/applications
● build in rewards for yourself
● use family and friends to provide additional motivation/structure
